SPECIAL NOTE – The names used in the blog (aside from my kid) have been changed.  Don’t worry neighborhood folks, I have changed the names to protect the innocent. 

“Kids say the darndest things!”  I am not sure where the quote originated, but it is so true.

It seems like the most informative conversations that I have with Rachel are in the car – usually in route to gymnastics practice or some other activity.  Topics of conversation range from the basic discussions about how things went at school to “what is dark matter?”.  “Really Mom, how can you NOT know what dark matter is?!?!  You are a scientist, and you should know stuff!”

Ugh, ok…….

After such stimulating conversations about dark matter and “how many suns can fill our galaxy or how many Earths can fill up the space of the sun?”, you can imagine my surprise when my daughter’s interest turned pre-teen.

“Mommy, I don’t know how I can get ‘Johnny’ to love me”, Rachel sincerely declared.

“What?!?!?!?!?!”, I gasped.

“Really, I love him and ‘Jimmy’ but they don’t love me back”.

Oh, God – WHAT!  I almost choked on my diet soda and Chick-Filet chicken nugget.  I managed to keep the car on the road….

“Rachel, exactly what do you mean?  What are you talking about?”

“Well, Johnny and Jimmy used to chase me on the play ground because they were in love with me.  I chased them back, and now they don’t love me”, Rachel said with a sly grin.

OK, no kissing or holding hands were mentioned, and I was happy that she trusted me with this insight into her life.  On the other hand – Holy Crap!

I thought, what would my mom have said to me.  I don’t remember complaining about things like that in such an obvious way, but I do remember her consoling me about my ugly-duckling status…  Well, I was alone in the car with this kid and the ball was in my court.  My head was spinning, but I had to think fast.

“Rachel – you do not chase boys.EVER.  You are beautiful and awesome and you do not have to change anything to get some boy(s) to notice you!  UNDERSTAND???”.  My head was still spinning.  I almost had to pull the car off of the road.  I continued.  “Rachel – another thing.  Boys chase girls because they are silly and if you chase them, they will think that you are silly.  Boys don’t like for girls to chase them.  And let me tell you something, my mommy told me that chasing boys made girls very ugly.  CHASING BOYS IS A UGLY THING TO DO!”  I felt like a preacher giving the last 10 minutes of a revival sermon.

I looked back and she was just looking at me.  I asked her if she understood.  “Ummm, yeah but why do they think that I am weird?”, she persisted.

“Well, because boys are goofy, and it takes a long time for them to grow up.  You need to focus on school growing up to become a good person.  Never – ever – worry about boys”.

I tried to be diplomatic.  I am sure that the little boys she was talking about are perfect kids.  However, I just couldn’t believe that at 8 years old we were having this discussion.  Crap.  So not ready for this.